Friday, February 26, 2010

Actually Listening

I am totally inspired by my friends. I plan on writing more about them just to share them with the rest of you! They are incredible and I learn from them time and time again. My dear friend Jade is one that just rocks my socks. Jade is a tiny little person with blond hair and fair skin and big pretty lips. She reminds me of a little pixie. Jade is always sharing the latest thing she has learned or the latest book that gave her a revelation. You know how Oprah has a book club? Well so does Jade! And I am all up in it my friends! haha! I know she is just a person and she has stuff like we all do, but I tell you with the most honesty my friends, Jade has worked through so much and she is an incredibly disciplined individual. This is why she is always reading a pushing herself toward growth. After a conversation with her I realized something that I think makes my friend Jade so amazing. She wakes up in the morning and prays about her day. She invited the Lord into her agenda. She invites him into the tiny places I would never think of. What to eat... Who to go see... Later I got on the phone with Brittney and we, as usual, were talking about some kind of diet and exercise program. She shared with me that she had started inviting the Lord into her workouts and in her diet after being inspired by Jade to do so. What an amazing thought! I sat amazed. I do not think I had ever even thought about asking the Lord about what I would eat or about inviting him into the tiny little parts of my daily agenda! I guess I had always thought if I accomplished everything I set out to.. juggled everything I set out to.. and prayed a few times during the day that was enough. I decided after that light bulb went off that I would begin to invite the Lord into my agenda. The next day was CRAZY for me. I had more to do than I could think about. I woke up, fed the baby, drank my coffee, and stated pumping out my to do list. All of the sudden I was convicted to pray for my day. I looked down at my to do list and said " Ok Lord, not my agenda but yours today. Help me to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit ." Later that day I was in a tissy! Overwhelmed! I still needed to go grocery shopping, cook dinner, give the baby and bath, and on and on and on. Just then baby on hip in my laundry room, my phone rang. My friend Hannah was calling to come see me and hang out. She wanted my help writing a paper. Just as I was about to tell her today simply wasnt the day, Jesus showed up. He reminded me of my prayer. I told her to come on! I forgot the laundry, we ordered Sushi and hung out and I helped her finish her paper. That night ended up being one of the best nights I had spent with a friend in awhile. At the end of the night she informed me that she loved me and it meant so much that I would help her. I was glad I did. I was glad for once the laundry sat there and the grocery shopping didnt get done but I had listened. This concept being to catch on in my heart. So my dear friends, I am currently in a state of ACTUALLY LISTENING! Who woulda thought. haha. Every day I am asking the Lord to set me on His agenda and not my own. I am praying to be sensitive to the Holy spirit that I would know who to hang out with and what to do with my time. For once my friends... I am actually listening!

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Accepting Love

The last year of my life rocked my world in more ways than I can even begin to tell you. I spent the majority of it pregnant. haha. This was an experience in itself. I learned so much! The year began with lots and lots of planning and reading. I was doing my best to prepare for motherhood. Day after day my belly grew and I simply could not get enough spicy hot V8. My husband would look in in digust as I downed a whole 12 ounce V8 like a coke! When it came time for baby showers, I learned perhaps the biggest lesson of the year.

I am ususally quick to plan events for others. I honestly enjoy it so much. I am detail oriented. I dont really enjoy surprises as a general rule. I like to know what is going on at all times so that I can in some way sneak in my help or influence or BRILLIANT idea. It is not usually the easiest thing for me to just let go and let someone actually do something for me without me knowing a THING! Brittney, my sister not by blood, lives in Texas and decided with a little help from local and semi local friends that she would throw me a baby shower blow out from Texas. I was happy but also uncomfortable deep down by this. She was just taking on way to much in my mind. I just knew that secretly she had to feel overwhelmed by this and really didn't want to take on such a huge task. When Jade arrived that Saturday night from Nashville and Brittney from Texas, I was so ready to go help decorate. My friends quickly knowing how I am told me that they would be going to set up my baby shower and I would be resting! "It will be the best suprise ever when you walk in tomorrow!" said Brittney. I was so nervous about this! Why did I have such a problem letting it go and just letting my friends love me!? Why did I feel that I must be involved in every little detail? I knew Brittney was using blue and brown, and secretley I wished she was using red. It was in train depot and I could just see toy trains and red bandannas.( See...detail oriented.) I felt so horrible for having such a thought! "Who cares what the colors are!" "Lord, please help me to have a greatful attitude and just be ok with letting go on stupid details like bandannas!" I said in my mind.

We were all in the baby's room later that night. I felt compelled to tell them that I was so greatful for their travel and so happy that they would throw me a baby shower. I am quite sure it was the hormones. Jade, sitting at my feet beside the rocker, said "Paige, you have got to let go and let people love you!" She told me how she had realized that the Lord put friends in our life to love on us and we should accept that love with no restraint.

When I walked into my baby shower that sunday afternoon I burst into tears. It was breathtaking. Trains and balloons and red bandannas everywhere! "You like it? We changed the decor to red when we got here!"It was like the baby shower I had seen in my dreams! Every detail was perfect! My dear friend Alice had even had a 3 layer cake made and a hand carved fruit boat from a watermelon!!! This was ten times better than I could have ever imagined it would be!!!I looked around and saw the faces of so many of my dear friends and realized something so huge. The Lord really does love me through my friends! If I had manipulated that or chosen to not let go and just let my friends love me, I would have never seen the lavish love that He pours out. He is detailed. He would travel miles and miles for me. He knows my thoughts and desires and they matter to Him. Even if they are red bandannas!

I learned many things in 2009. One of the most valuable of them was there is a time to love on others. And also a time to be loved on! Thank you, by the way, to all my precious friends who made that day so great!